FUNNY STUFF ABOUT POLITICS

Here’s an article by Henrylito D. Tacio of Sunstar Davao. I found it an amusing commentary on the upcoming elections. It’s actually sharp hidden with some subtlety.

REGARDING HENRY
By Henrylito D. Tacio

SOON, we will be electing our senators, congressmen,
governors and their board members, and mayors and his
councilors.  David Brinkley commented, “A person
running for political office is seeking power.  Power
as we know it corrupts.”

But on second thought, “politics is funny,” to quote
the words of F. G. Kernan.  “When a man leaves your
party and goes over to the other side, he’s a
traitor,” he explained.  “When he leaves the other
party and comes over to your side, he’s a convert.”

At one time, I saw this sign in car window: “If Con is
the opposite of Pro, what is the opposite of
Progress?”  What do you think?

Now, share me a story sent to me by a friend via
e-mail.  A powerful senator dies after a prolonged
illness.  His soul arrives in heaven and is met by
Saint Peter at the entrance.   “Welcome to Heaven,”
says Saint Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems
there is a problem. We seldom see a high official
around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to
do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” says the senator.

“Well, I’d like to but I have orders from higher up,”
Saint Peter explains. “What we’ll do is have you spend
one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose
where to spend eternity.”

”Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in
Heaven,” the senator says.

“I’m sorry but we have our rules,” replies St. Peter.

And with that, Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator
and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open
and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf
course. Nearby are all his friends and other
politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is in
evening attire and very happy to see him. They run to
greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times
they had while getting rich at the expense of the
people. They play a friendly game of golf and then
dine on lobster and caviar.

Also present is the Devil, who really is a very
friendly guy and who has a good time dancing and
telling jokes. They are having such a good time that
the time flies, and before he realizes it, the senator
has to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves
while the elevator rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on
Heaven where Saint Peter is waiting for him. “Now it’s
time to visit Heaven,” he says.

The next 24 hours pass with the senator joining a
group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud,
playing the harp and singing. They have a good time
and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by
and Saint Peter returns.

“Well then, you’ve spent a day in Hell and another in
Heaven. Now choose your eternity,” Saint Peter tells
the lawmaker.  The senator reflects for a minute, then
answers, “Well, I would never have said it, I mean
Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be
better off in Hell.”

So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes
down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the
elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren land
covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his
friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and
putting it in black bags.  The Devil comes over to him
and lays his arm on his neck.

“I don’t understand,” stammers the senator. “Yesterday
I was here and there was a golf course and a beautiful
club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had
a great time. Now there is only a wasteland full of
garbage and my friends look miserable.

The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, “Yesterday we
were campaigning. Today you voted for us!”

Carl Riblet, Jr. reminds us of what a politician is:
“In these days of the closest scrutiny of the
politician, it is fitting that we list what he needs
to succeed.   Such a creature of the animal kingdom,
besides having the ability to butt like a goat and
turn like a worm, must have the eyes of a vulture, the
memory of an elephant, rocks in the seat of his pants
to break the feet of those who kick him, and the
reactions of a skunk.”

This May, choose wisely who you would vote for.
Promises, they say, are made to be broken.  An ancient
proverb said, “When a man repeats a promise again and
again, he means to fail you.”

And just a reminder.  When you rearrange the letters
of “ELECTION RESULTS,” the new words are: “LIES –
LET’S RECOUNT.”  Now, have you ever wondered why?

For comments, write me at tasyo2002@yahoo.com

About mindanaw

A Journalist from Mindanao

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